Writing this in 2022, as Prime Minister Patel of England returns crestfallen from Versailles, having signed the surrender document at the end of the 100 Days War with France, I reflect on the The Bay of Tongue Incident on December 13th 2021, which was used to justify the Royal Navy attack on Calais and which led, in turn to the French Navy attack on Dover.
I see an obvious parallel with the incident, which started the largely naval conflict, and the Bay of Tonkin Incident in 1964 which drew the USA into the Vietnam conflict.
The Bay of Tongue Incident involved HMS Feckless sinking two French ‘torpedo boats’, 50 miles east of Wick. Readers will remember that the Feckless had to be brought back into service at short notice, to protect UK territorial waters, with all of the Royal Navy’s gunboats in dock for repair or in the South China sea, tagging along behind the US Seventh Fleet.
All of the Royal Navy’s 234 admirals, bar two, were also in the South China Sea commanding the 24 ships of the UK’s Pacific Fleet. One hunter-killer submarine, HMS Irresponsible, was on its way from Gibraltar but the captain Charles ‘Jock’ Nelson had warned that the French boats were probably too ‘wee’ to hit with his torpedoes and that they’d probably go for the Reckless instead.
On board the Reckless, Admiral of the Fleet (Catering) Julian ‘Jock’ Carruthers and Admiral of the Fleet (R&R) Sandy ‘Jock’ Francois, were aided in decision-making by the ’emergency’ First Lord of the Admiralty, Lord Michael Gove of Peterhead and Fraserburgh.
The Tusker understands that Gove gave the order to sink the French boats based on his poor vision when he mistook their baguettes for torpedo tubes.
LATEST: A source has informed the Tusker that the giant aircraft carrier, left to Scotland as part of the ‘divorce settlement’ in November 2021, is to be refitted with giant drones from PC World and sent to provide aid parcels to coastal communities in parts of the world, suffering from food shortages due to the recent rise in sea levels. The re-designated ‘aid carrier’ is to be renamed the ‘Great Michael II‘ in recognition of the work of the current president of the Scottish Republic, Michael Russell, in negotiating the Treaty of Berwick. Russell has joked that his noted ‘firepower’ is absent from the ‘toothless’ former warship.
Talking-up Scotland / Scottish media fact checking is like shooting fish in a barrel 
I am in agreement with MR’s contention that as the former aircraft carrier and its drones can be repurposed to deliver bombs the USA should accept them as military expenditure in accordance with our NATO commitments.
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Steady John, with such a gift as you have for factual reporting, I can see the Herald offering you the job of Staff Celtic Writer.
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Alas, those dastardly continentals are gloating over their croissants and verre de jus d’orange, while reading in the morning papers about the “singeing of the Protector of England’s bush”.
This lurid reference to Protectoress of the Realm, Dutchess Patel and the sinking of the Channel Fleet is beyond the pale. They will face the Mighty Blighty response in due course, as we await the support of our staunch Russian allies (thank you for the introduction of your friends, Boris).
It will be deja vous all over again for these demmed Frenchies when England does what England does……………….blah blah de blah
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By Jingo !
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Ha Ha Ha,very amusing,excellent.
Let’s hope it remains just another of BoJo’s cunning stunts.
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I thought all the Royal Navy’s gunboats were in dock as their petrol had been siphoned out to get the 4 Fisheries Protection vessels out on patrol as ordered by Johnson.
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Apparently the engines overheat if they go past the breakwater.
Mind you, there are enough spare Admirals (including half a dozen Royals) that could be harnessed up, like dolphins, and could tow the boats to France and back.
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This is the best laugh I’ve had for a very long time,John you are the best keep it up.Mind I don’t put it past these people they did try it with Iceland.
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Thanks
Sent it to Mike Russell
He replied:
Very entertaining ! Thanks – and let’s hope it all remains satire…
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An excellent report, though mention could have been made of the fact that a significant clause in the Treaty of Berwick was the return to Scotland of that ancient burgh Berwick, too long exiled in a foreign land.
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How might they vote in a referendum that is the question. It’s very much an English town now, imo, but I am happy to be corrected.
Maybe the duke (of Northumberland, one of the largest regions of England and the duke is one of the richest in the land of England, low population, they only allow the working class in to the more rural parts to service the rich in their castles and mansions) will allow Berwick to secede, but somehow I doubt it.
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In return England could have Morningside?
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“Could have Morningside”?
And the Moaningside MP?
“Union Jock” Murray.
Ruthies pal.
Indeed the pal of anyone who wants to maintain Scotland as a Westminster colony.
This is NOT a nationalist thing. Murray appears to detest Corbyn and Leotard, both proud Englishmen, while placing his services at the feet of Boris, an out-and-out Scotophobe.
In days gone bye, such an attitude would get him a berth in the Brit Nat express–next to Ffoulksakia or “revolutionary-to-Tory in one step” Darling–maybe next to Ruthie, his old Embro’ chum.
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Brilliant, that made me laugh on this dreich day thanks. ‘Taking back control’ and now it’s come to this, little Eton boy war mongers, it’s all a game to them, just like in school, bully until you get what you want.
Do they realise how pathetic they look right now?
I did wonder if it should be ‘Michael Jock Gove’? Admiralty, bloody hilarious he can hardly stand up straight in the commons. If ever there was someone with more importance bestowed on them than they deserve, he is the epitomy of that.
Just think Scotland, you can have the last laugh if you get the hell out of the UKOK, and do it fast as you can, like er yesterday as the old saying goes!
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Ah wiz baun in blyteee but I wiz mehd int royul nehveey
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Whatever TC, the BritNat EngGov have a ready freakin army/navy at their disposal because so many young folk will be out of so called work,
(especially in regions of northern England as per usual) and out of any options, and you know what, that is really really not a good combination for peace.
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