Writing this in 2022, as Prime Minister Patel of England returns crestfallen from Versailles, having signed the surrender document at the end of the 100 Days War with France, I reflect on the The Bay of Tongue Incident on December 13th 2021, which was used to justify the Royal Navy attack on Calais and which led, in turn to the French Navy attack on Dover.
I see an obvious parallel with the incident, which started the largely naval conflict, and the Bay of Tonkin Incident in 1964 which drew the USA into the Vietnam conflict.
The Bay of Tongue Incident involved HMS Feckless sinking two French ‘torpedo boats’, 50 miles east of Wick. Readers will remember that the Feckless had to be brought back into service at short notice, to protect UK territorial waters, with all of the Royal Navy’s gunboats in dock for repair or in the South China sea, tagging along behind the US Seventh Fleet.
All of the Royal Navy’s 234 admirals, bar two, were also in the South China Sea commanding the 24 ships of the UK’s Pacific Fleet. One hunter-killer submarine, HMS Irresponsible, was on its way from Gibraltar but the captain Charles ‘Jock’ Nelson had warned that the French boats were probably too ‘wee’ to hit with his torpedoes and that they’d probably go for the Reckless instead.
On board the Reckless, Admiral of the Fleet (Catering) Julian ‘Jock’ Carruthers and Admiral of the Fleet (R&R) Sandy ‘Jock’ Francois, were aided in decision-making by the ’emergency’ First Lord of the Admiralty, Lord Michael Gove of Peterhead and Fraserburgh.
The Tusker understands that Gove gave the order to sink the French boats based on his poor vision when he mistook their baguettes for torpedo tubes.
LATEST: A source has informed the Tusker that the giant aircraft carrier, left to Scotland as part of the ‘divorce settlement’ in November 2021, is to be refitted with giant drones from PC World and sent to provide aid parcels to coastal communities in parts of the world, suffering from food shortages due to the recent rise in sea levels. The re-designated ‘aid carrier’ is to be renamed the ‘Great Michael II‘ in recognition of the work of the current president of the Scottish Republic, Michael Russell, in negotiating the Treaty of Berwick. Russell has joked that his noted ‘firepower’ is absent from the ‘toothless’ former warship.