Reporting Scotland Up‘s fearless Disclosure team have discovered a Freedom of Information request to Police Scotland on 15th October 2019, which suggests that Scotland is being threatened by so many supernatural phenomena that they cannot even keep record of them never mind fight them. Here it is:

Professor Julian von Dracula of the University of Barking, says: ‘This can only mean one thing. There must be millions of these phenomena, so many, you think who can I call?’