English King has a woman’s legs

Statue of a robed king in white stone

Warning: Dangerously daft post:

A new discovery has triggered fury among members of the English Defence League and elements in the Conservative party, as researchers reveal that a statue of England’s scholar-warrior who sorted out the Vikings, promoted literacy in his subjects, and paved the way for a united England, in London, re-uses the 2nd Century AD Roman legs of the goddess Minerva.

https://londonist.com/london/history/southwark-s-statue-of-alfred-the-great

There have been calls from Boris Johnson for the legs to replaced with a new set modelled on his own chunkier ones.

Boris Johnson cuts a dash in eye-catching running clothes

Anxiety about womanly legs runs deep in English history as this 16th Century video (Betamax) reveals:

Men with women’s legs are largely unknown in Scotland:

Statue of a robed king in white stone

10 thoughts on “English King has a woman’s legs

  1. Breaking news
    In response to the ever worsening Omicron crisis
    The Cabinet have been summoned to attend at 1700 hrs upon 10 Downing St
    The notice and invite was dispatched with the heading
    Mad Hatters Tea Party
    Such was deployed in the firm belief that
    Those summoned would enthrall at such
    A invite

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Christmas greetin’s from DRossie and Hi Jack– (Ruthie not invited).

      “We lost a seat wiv held, sine yon Walter Raleigh,
      Nae probs: never mind, lets hiv a wee swally.
      No 10 then, roon the back, slip up the alley.
      A carry-oot fae Tesco, oan wir expenses tally.
      Wi Boris’n’Govey we’ll aw gie it some laldy.
      So, be quick, we dont want tae dally.
      But, whitiver ye dae, dont tell the press galley”!

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Surely if King Alfred got stuck with the wee peg-legs that Boris has, he would have been 6 inches shorter?

    France, I think, had a “Pepin the Short”.
    England (Wessex) would then have “Freddy the Stunted”.
    And who would have followed such a king?

    Scotland would still have had Northumbria and Cumbria.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Francia, the kingdom of the Franks, wasn’t really France, or anything like it as we understand it today. In Pepin’s time it didn’t include Brittany and large areas of modern day southern and southeastern France. It did include most of the Low Countries and a nontrivial chunk of modern Germany.

      His son, Charlemagne, completed the conquest of modern French territory; with the the exception of Brittany and the extreme south. He also completed the conquest of the Low Countries, bar Frisia, and added Schleswig, Bavaria and Carinthia (now Austria) to the east. He kicked the Lombards off their perch in Northern Italy and extended their control almost to Rome.

      Charlemagne’s son, Charles the Pious, inherited the lot. On his death the Carolingian Empire was split between his three surviving sons. West Francia ultimately became France. The inheritors of Middle and East Francia fell out, went to war, the result was the basis of the Holy Roman Empire; which was neither holy nor Roman as the saying goes.

      Having put you straight on that lot, I’m afraid to inform you that Pepin wasn’t short! It’s believed the epithet is the result of a mistranslation. His name, in German, was Pippin der Jüngere or “the younger”. If it came to mediæval English scholars as the latinised “minor”, it could easily have been transliterated as “short”. Compare Ethelred, he wasn’t “unready”, but un-read or ill-educated.

      All of the Carolingians were noted for their great height. There isn’t a reliable record of Pepin’s height, but estimates for Charlemagne’s (based on measurements of his thighbone) range from 5′ 10″ to 6′ 4″; exceptional for the era, we’re about 4″-6″ taller (on average) today. He wasn’t powerfully built; think Hen Broon.

      If you want a short ruler, with a mass following, try Attila the 4′ 11″ Hun.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Cannot argue Drew. My comment was based on a “popular” view of history, though for me, Franks and Francia will always point to a future France.
        “Martel” brandy for example, would be to the French, as much a part of their cuisine as cheese.

        Like

  3. Talking about daft folk (previously), one of the faces of ‘Toon Clock’ McKenna asserts that………
    Starwars…….. “has a chance to build an authentic and broadly left consensus” with “Scottish” Labour. Honest! No joke!

    Starwars is as far to the right as DRossie.
    Third in a row of privately educated “Scottish” Labour leaders.
    Very wealthy, asset-rich Nob.
    Educating his own children at private schools.
    McKenna outs himself as the bogus “man of the people” he has NEVER been.
    “Scottish” Labour deserves McKenna.
    McKenna deserves “Scottish” Labour.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Few Scotsmen have women’s legs – agreed. However, I still laugh at the description of a lady who worked for a customer of my first employers, in early 1960s Glasgow.

    According to our Celtic-supporting van driver, she had: “Legs like Sean Fallon’s.”

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.