Urged to make an urgent statement, urgently, but only by Jamie Greene

Nicola: ‘Have you seen the stuff Tom Gordon writes these days? John: I know, sad. Your hair looks nice in that shot’

Tom Gordon writes excitedly today:

JOHN Swinney is being urged to make an urgent statement to parliament after reports school exams may be axed back for a second year because of coronavirus.

Ooooh! Urged to make an urgent statement? Urgently? Where is this urgency coming from? Thousands of parents and pupils writing or even standing outside Holyrood? No? Is it from all the opposition parties? No? Oh, that woman with the facebook page who doesn’t believe in face masks for weans? No?

WELL, WHO IS IT THEN!

It’s ‘Jamie Greens.

Who? The Conservative shadowy education minister. Oh, Jamie Greene. Just him? And he’s urgent?

Well we have ‘an insider‘ quoted in some English paper and ‘a source‘ told us.

Have you? Really? That’s, eh…………..

12 thoughts on “Urged to make an urgent statement, urgently, but only by Jamie Greene”

      1. I remember Hughie Green, but refuse to be an oldie!

        OTOH, I had to google Jamie Greene. (Does that make me a Bad Person? 😀 )

        Like

  1. Stop-press! Urgent!!!

    From a Villa—NOT in Perugia, or Tuscany, or anywhere remotely near to Italy—

    —–Boris—-
    —I simply cannot be expected to survive on a miserable £150 grand a year. I made more than double that scribbling porkies for the Torygraf!
    I cannot even afford a nannie for my “hot young vixens” brat. And I have all my other by-blows to put through Oxbridge!
    They even charge me to entertain my friends at Chequers–some of the richest Russians on the planet—how embarrassing!
    So here I am–not in Perugia!– contemplating leaving Downing Street, because of utter penury.
    That snake Gove will slither into place, aided by that other snake, Cummings. A pair of rattlers, the two of ’em.
    Never mind–another box ticked orf!
    Yours,
    Boris–not in Perugia.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Bit early in the day to axe exams, plenty of time to sort out a method – they still have this years unused exams and no doubt already have next years written so have two sets of exams they can use to ensure both a social and time distance between pupils sitting the same subject. Ample opportunity to set them up online as well, already plenty of software packages out there capable of delivering many subject exams digitally.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Jamie Green, sad poltroon or idiot savant?
    Says his mum, with obvious pride.
    “Oor Wee Jim has a bit of a “want”!
    Even bearded, he has nowhere to hide.
    Alas! His brains, are patently scant”.

    So, is he a guru, with the wits of a gnu.
    Blue Tory, no glory, he squawks like a doo,
    Befitting for El DRosso’s motley crew.
    Vote?! Whit! Who?
    For Him? Wee Jim? That’d be up to you!

    Liked by 2 people

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