Oil, whisky, shortbread? What else do you have? Nothing!

As Brent Crude falls to $31.87 pb, the economy of the UAE has crashed. With strong ties to the UK still in place after gaining independence only recently, in 1971, the UAE leader, Prince Sheikh Yercharitycan, has approached the Queen to ask her to smooth the UAE’s passage to full membership of Great Britain, again.

Close friend of the Prince Sheikh and Commodore-in-Chief of the Royal Navy, the Duke of Rothesay, says the Navy’s base in nearby Bahrain can be easily moved to the UAE. His brother and Falklands war hero, Prince Andrew, told our reporter that the RAF already has a base there at Al Minhad and that he is ready anytime to fly out there to set up ‘recreational facilities’ for the lads.

A source told TuSC that Scottish Conservative leader, Jackson Carlaw, is already exploring the possibility of setting up his own car-dealership in Dubai.

Evidence of how seriously the UK Government is taking this approach has emerged only this morning with the Prime Minister’s announcement that he is sending former Tory MP, Ross Thompson, out to Dubai to get to the bottom of the situation and to grab any opportunities there might be in this approach from the Prince Sheikh.

As he finished, the PM drew the obvious lesson for Scotland in all of this, reminding ‘the Jocks’ of ‘the issues of resilience’ they have with their economy.