UK ‘leaves’ twice in case you didn’t get it first time, GB’s Murray ‘chases’ and coronavirus ‘hits’ the UK.
Meanwhile, on the ground where the real folk are, nobody dares celebrate too loudly in Scotland, thousands mourn and protest on the streets and the coronavirus steers clear of our too-clean hospitals to develop in England.
Didn’t all of the Scottish and UK media predict we’d be first to get the virus, ‘in the coming days’ two days ago?
As for the returners from Wuhan, why were they sent to Merseyside only quite far away from Westminster? Send them to Peterhead on the remote East coast of Scotland to help the local Tories there remind everyone why we’re better together?
The Herald catches the mood on some English street:
Talking-up Scotland 'Albatraz' 
What was actually happening in Scotland:
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I noticed that photo on the Herald website and thought ‘you’re a Scottish paper should you not be reporting on what happened in Scottland and showing a photo of that’s? All they had to do was walk round to Buchanan Street to get some photos of Saltires.
To be fair the paper edition of the Herald did have the Duke of Wellington wearing his new, EU hat.
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An idiots guide to Antigonish!
They say–too wee, too daft, too pair,
Invisible Auld Scotia jist isnae there,
We ur’ney there again today,
The Mejah wishes we would— jist go away.
We saw, last nicht at Holyrood,
Saltires flying, the crak wis good,
But we looked around wi’ some despair,
The press, the camera’s, wirnae there.
Go away Scotia, we don’t want ye here,
Go away Scotia the Herod shouts, wi’ fear!
With apologies to Hugh Mearns.
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You have a rare, no rerr, talent!
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That is what my Mother said, when I was due a skelp on the lug!
Those were the days when adults could “knock some sense intae ye”!
The Good old Days!
P.S–my mother never hit me, not even once.
But teachers? I had teachers who could have got into Genghis Khan’s first team!
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