UK ‘leaves’ twice in case you didn’t get it first time, GB’s Murray ‘chases’ and coronavirus ‘hits’ the UK.
Meanwhile, on the ground where the real folk are, nobody dares celebrate too loudly in Scotland, thousands mourn and protest on the streets and the coronavirus steers clear of our too-clean hospitals to develop in England.
Didn’t all of the Scottish and UK media predict we’d be first to get the virus, ‘in the coming days’ two days ago?
As for the returners from Wuhan, why were they sent to Merseyside only quite far away from Westminster? Send them to Peterhead on the remote East coast of Scotland to help the local Tories there remind everyone why we’re better together?
The Herald catches the mood on some English street: