We’ve were here before in December 2020 but the much-awaited decision is in. Mainly due to their own stupidity in accepting the ermine robes, Lord McConnell and Baroness Davidson have been ruled out of the great honour of ‘Defender of the Union.’ The only other candidate, with a pulse, is Gordon ‘The Bear’ Brown. He won after a recount, by 14 votes to 13 and 12 for the other two.
Widespread fears among Unionists have been eased by the news that former PM, Brown will lead the NO Campaign in 2021 with a promise of full federalism in two years. The banner heading is thought to be Full Federalism Scotland!
NO supporters had been understandably worried that there was no obvious candidate who could unite the disparate parts of their campaign. Brown will still face a huge challenge in getting Labour and Conservative figures on the same stage.
Concern that Brown might be too old for the task was widespread but seems to have been alleviated after he appeared at an event hosted by the Herald, in December 2020 (left). Brown appeared rejuvenated only days after seeming a bit confused at a Guardian event only days earlier (right).
Sources have informed TuS that Brown has been receiving injections of a special Swiss serum based on the blood from aborted babies in the USA and shark placenta from Cuba. The safe supply of the serum has been guaranteed by the RAF and will be escorted into Glasgow Prestwick by spitfires under cover of night.