Campaign Day 1: Best Quotes

Incensed by the First Minister getting her offer in first, the opposition parties were left scrabbling for sound-bites.

Accusing the FM of copying his policy of copying her policy then doubling it, Anas Sarwar was interrupted by a 5 year-old shouting:

‘Tell yer mother tae pay ma dad the living wage fur working in her food factory and we wouldnae need Nicola tae help us oot!’

Lib Dem leader, Willie Rennie, invited the nation’s punners to engage with his policies:

‘If you’re rooked and can’t afford to feed your bairns, just pawn some of your jewellery?

Reader entries below. Same prizes as before.

Patrick Harvie, Greens leader 0.5 FTE, cleverly pretended that he was chuffed they were all copying him, but dressed and located in the dullest of colour schemes. Would you vote for those colours?

The Conservative MP, Herman Goering, refused at first to talk about child benefit but then could not contain himself and blurted out angrily:

‘If you don’t earn enough to feed your own children, don’t have them! Ask your GP for some contraceptives! They’re free!’

Boxer Alex Arthur to stand for Salmond's Alba Party

The Alba Party were not invited to take part despite their brilliant jab at the boring world of politics by appointing a big hitter as their spokesperson for taking no shit from anyone.

BBC Scotland’s new wee guy with the hyphenated name is reputed to have said he’s not afraid to be sarcastic or supercilious with the new candidate and was heard practicing:

‘Alex, why, why, why, eh…should the Alba Party be allowed to ‘game’ the D’Hondt or, or, or, gulp, Jefferson method, on which the Scottish Parliament’s electoral system is, is, is, gulp, based?

I hear he will go with:

‘Do you think you’ll like being an MSP?’

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3 thoughts on “Campaign Day 1: Best Quotes

  1. ABC (BBC)
    Are scared stiff of Alba their dark masters are tearing their hair now in a attempt to re phrase their usual propaganda lines and guidance for program Editors
    They know one wrong move then the ice below their feet melts


    1. iusedtobeenglish
      And may i add to the cast but in a serious and genuine manner
      Nicola is “The Dancing Queen”
      Unlike A.N.Other whom i believe goes by the name of T.May

      Liked by 1 person

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