I’ve been here before. Last year the Scottish Retail Consortium claimed that nine shop-workers were being assaulted every single day. I wrote to the lead researcher for a sight of the data broken down by region.

He wrote back:

They’s just made up the Scottish figure. I’m not going to bother asking this time.

The author seems to work for my local the Ayrshire Post.

Published in a low-crime area you’d think we lived in 1990s Bronx – page after page of death, despair, drugs, thugs, cheats and paedophiles.