Wallace-Lockhart doing his mouth-stretching exercises to amuse shoppers

I can’t watch BBC Scotland’s new cub-reporter, David Wallace Lockhart. The caricatured accent and over-elocuted mouth-stretching is just too much for me. I know, I’m being superficial.

Luckily he’s writing for their website too so I can give his utterances the respect they deserve. He has clearly learned quickly from Lisa Summers on how to take a single traumatic incident, present it with melodrama, foreground angry relatives, leave key explanatory context out, or till later, and imply it must be part of a wider crisis for which the government of the day must be blamed.

He’s written this:

Straight-off, I thought, is that sort of quite violent resuscitation you see on TV too dangerous for an 88 year-old? And, for legal reasons, are the staff not obliged to show they’ve gone through the proper procedures to protect the patient from further trauma and to leave evidence for the relatives to see?

Lockhart has learned his craft well. The explanation confirming the above is kept until the 16th line by which time you are well-titillated.

And, what’s this middle-name thing? I only started using mine because there are so many John Robertson’s around I was being accused of saying things some of them had said, and one of them is a bit potty-mouthed.

He didn’t always:

Physical presence 3! Harsh just because he’s wee?

So, does the inserted ‘Wallace’ look like an affectation, like a personalised car number plate or wearing your rugby club shirt with the collar up?

Footnote: I see Davey worked for 4 years, to 2018, for Mentorn Media and produced Question Time for some of that. Remember them? Accusations of seeding the audience with extremists of a racist or extreme Unionist persuasion, to undermine Corbynist or Scottish Nationalist panellists?