When is a café not a restaurant? When it says that above the door

Descending into a farce is the kind of cliché I usually avoid……like the plague…..but the opposition pile-on aided by ‘experts’ and the Scottish media has become a cracker of one.

Has anyone thought to ask Humpty Dumpty? He knew:

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.”

Right at the outset, I thought that the owners probably make that decision themselves when they order the sign and that planning officers will be interested in more important things, like alcohol.

I’ve wasted more time than any sane person should, trying to find precise legal definitions applying in Scotland that might help us know the difference between a café and a restaurant and I can’t, anywhere.

In a 2018, 89 page, Research Project: To Explore the Relationship Between the Food Environment and the Planning System, they make no attempt to do so and seem only concerned with the issue of alcohol licensing


Legal experts, Brodies, make no distinction in their advice, grouping them both as ‘Class 3‘ and seem only to have experience of planning issues with licensing.


Despite this and finding their own ‘experts‘, opposition politicians and the Scottish media see ‘carnage.’

For example, the the Herald opens with

NICOLA Sturgeon has been accused of overseeing a “complete shambles” ahead of a two-week hospitality shutdown in central Scotland. Experts said the measures risked “absolute carnage” after confusion erupted over which businesses will be affected.

So, just don’t sell alcohol until you hear you can again? Simple?

Anyone else starting to wonder just what’s real this morning?

4 thoughts on “When is a café not a restaurant? When it says that above the door”

  1. ‘Carnage’. I mean, even by the BritNat media standards, (and they have few if any decent ones), to talk about ‘carnage’ in this context is just taking the biscuit! 😉
    As of Saturday, no, Friday night, are we to see zombies, walking about our city streets, looking for, a restaurant, da da da! Only to see it closed and then they zombie on down the street only to find a cafe, arghhh, noooo!! So they go rampaging like lunatics creating untold mayhem, carnage even. Then on Saturday, the normal non zombies pop out for a cuppa with a pal, only to discover the carnage of coffee, biscuits, soup and a sandwich, is all that’s on offer, omg! The zombies will be out after 6pm daily, causing carnage, watch out folks!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Pubs Restaurants Cafes whatever are only one sector of the economy. They are where people gather potentially spreading the virus. According to ABC and MSM you would think their remaining open is essentlal to our survival. More time is spent on their protestations than than on other areas of commerce which could be damaged if the virus continues to spread

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Ah, but ,the Queen’s Park Cafe in Victoria Road Glasgow is a pub!

    “That’s the Scottish Government argument blawn oot the watter! Pure confusion, if yese ask me. ” _ any presenter on BBC Scotland.


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