In the Scotsman today, Prof Tomkins back at Glasgow Uni, but hopefully not doing something like teaching where you need to be interested or research where you need to be honest, so probably management, has a great idea to help the Scottish Tories beat the SNP.

Policies won’t be enough, he insists. Well thank Frank for that, eh? What policies have they got? Eh, there’s, em, oh yes:

  • No to Indyref2
  • No to Indyref2
  • No to progressive taxation
  • No to land reform
  • No to taking away private schools charitable status
  • No to banning fox hunting
  • No to Indyref2
  • No to banning Trident
  • No to charges for car parking big cars like Murdo’s at work
  • No to banning chlorinated chicken
  • No to informing the poor or the disabled about their benefits
  • No to just about everything most normal folk want
  • No to election spending limits
  • No to Indyref2

OK, so they shouldn’t rely on those but go for presentation?

And, so, a football referee with a record of not turning up at Parliament, obsessed with ‘gypsies’ and accused of having been a school bully, that kind of image?

And, to hold the fort until he gets shoed in, a former TA corporal with a penchant for fighting talk – giving the opposition a doing or a kicking – that kind of image?

A Scottish Mark Francois? Is that it?