Rees-Mogg: There should really be a full-stop after No otherwise it means something quite different.

At great personal risk, but prepared to take one for the team, I have applied for a job at No.10 with Dominic Cummings. I did. The email has gone.

Dear Dominic

‘Two hands are a lot’ — we’re hiring data scientists, project managers, policy experts, assorted weirdos…

Having read your blog post, above, I write to offer myself as your special adviser to the Secretary of State for Scotland and as a key player in your creative destruction strategy for the UK.

In particular, I can advise on how best to make sure England’s destiny as a free and potent global force and, of course, a Borisian hegemony, is realised by first shedding the constraining and stifling forces of the BBC, Scottish social democratic politicians and voters. The BBC is demonstrably a force for centrist, post-Blairite politics propagandising daily to undermine more radical visions such as yours. Only this morning I witnessed their extended, frankly sickening, attempt to resuscitate the Blairism they so miss, in the form of the slimmed down Tom Watson.

My own expertise in exposing BBC bias in Scotland will be useful in exposing similar biases which I can see, without needing empirical study, has been in favour of ‘moderate’ figures such as Swinson, Starmer and Subry. With regard to Scotland, it is clear that your longer-term electoral dominance of a new and exciting England, trading freely with the USA, India, Russia, Africa and the former empire, will be most effectively delivered by dumping Scotland. I can advise how you and your admittedly limited forces in Scotland might best drive Scottish voters into the SNP’s arms. Boris is already familiar with Ross Thomson’s charms and potential in that regard.

I can provide a full cv, on request, but I was formerly Professor of Media Politics at the Bobby Russell Group, University of the West of Scotland and, in 2014, and was reported by the BBC for bringing it and my employer into disrepute after publishing research proving BBC bias against the Yes Movement.

I look forward to your reply,

Professor John W Robertson, PhD, PGCE, MEd, Dip Ed Comp, Dip Ed Tech, PGC Media Education……

I have sent the email to: ideasfornumber10@gmail.com

You never know we might have something in common. Certainly dress-sense. The blog is at: